Mourning is Cultural, Not Just Personal

If there’s one thing my UX research on grief taught me, it’s this:

Grief doesn’t feel the same everywhere and it definitely doesn’t look the same online.

As Sri Lankans, we don’t just grieve with silence. We grieve with ritual.

We raise white flags.

We hold daane (almsgiving).

We gather for 7th day bana.

We distribute food, chant, and sometimes even build shrines in memory.

But in digital spaces these rituals disappear.

Global platforms assume a Western model of mourning: silence, solitude, and perhaps a “memory” notification.

As a designer, this disconnect fascinates me. And more importantly it demands a solution.

What Grieving Looks Like in Sri Lanka 🇱🇰

Here are common elements of Sri Lankan mourning:

These rituals create shared space offline grief is communal, but online grief is isolated.

Why Global Platforms Miss the Mark

Global tech products (Facebook, TikTok, Instagram) operate on universal systems—but grief is deeply local.

Here’s what happens when that’s ignored:

• A Sri Lankan user sees an old photo of their deceased parent, but there’s no culturally meaningful way to honor them digitally.

• There’s no way to light a virtual oil lamp, mark a death anniversary, or set up a dana-inspired donation.

• The default “memorialization” feels too cold, too impersonal, and too Western.

Designing for emotion means designing with cultural intelligence.

What Culturally-Sensitive Grief UX Might Look Like

As part of my design project, I explored Sri Lankan-inspired features for grief support platforms. These ideas came from real user needs and cultural patterns:

1. White Flag UI Themes

Let users apply a white-flag banner or muted color palette on their profile during mourning periods—a respectful way to signal grief in a culturally familiar symbol.

2. Virtual Dana Wall

Create a section where friends and family can “offer” donations, quotes, poems, or kind acts in the name of the deceased—mirroring traditional almsgiving.

3. Buddhist Ritual Reminders

Prompt users with gentle reminders for 7th day bana, 3-month memorial, and 1-year anniversary—with options to join virtual chanting or share memories.

4. Memorial Book Generator

Allow users to build a digital “memorial book” with photos, stories, and reflections that can be exported or shared on social media.

5. Ritual Mode

A soft UI mode with slower transitions, lower contrast, and non-intrusive interactions—giving users space to reflect or mourn without distraction.

What I’ve Learned from Sri Lankan Users

Many Sri Lankan interviewees from my research said the same thing in different ways:

“I want to feel like I’m still part of my cultural grief practice, even if I’m using a phone.”

That’s the challenge in front of us as UX designers.

Not just to digitalize grief, but to culturalize it.

Grief Needs Localization

When global platforms ignore cultural grieving patterns, they don’t just fail users emotionally—they erase entire traditions.

Sri Lanka’s rituals are rich with meaning, and they deserve to be reflected in the digital tools we use daily. The design community has a responsibility to explore these deeply personal, deeply cultural spaces—and turn them into empathetic, respectful, and localized digital experiences.

Designing for Loss: UX Principles for Death-Aware Digital Products

In the next blog post, I’ll explore specific UX design principles and best practices that we can apply when building platforms that intersect with death, remembrance, or emotional vulnerability. From microinteractions to information architecture, we’ll look at how to design products that support—not ignore—grieving users.